小J 天生不愛運動,從來不想強身報國,只要是體育課她想盡辦法逃之夭夭,裝一副很衰的樣子。J 媽心知肚明她的伎倆,早先用送報賺零用錢之計,調虎離山騎了幾年腳踏車,一年前小J 的送報事業告一段落,山頂區少了她風馳電騁1的英姿,風光一時的三輪車也塵封冷宮,沒有金錢的誘惑,要她運動,難哎!
人就是這樣,沒有動機、缺乏誘因,什麼藉口都冠冕堂皇,J 媽邀她去跳土風舞、森巴,她嫌三八,歪大體育館促銷團體有氧操,她大言不慚:動作慢跟不上,走路多她怕摔跤,逛街她說蛤蟆墩無聊,J 媽看她大部分時間掛在電腦前面,成天痴吃呆笑,不僅姿勢扭曲,連身材也有些變形,心裏忍不住著急,給上帝快遞專送一爐悶燒鍋: 這樣下去怎麼得了? 宅女自閉足不出戶,四肢不動唯手指、五體不勤單瞪眼,長此以往,嚴重者肌肉萎縮、四眼田雞出籠,毀了吾家唯一一個尚未中進士的,搶救小J,該如何下手?
首先,信箱來了張私人健身房的廣告,專為女性量身打造,開幕期間免費優待試用。J 媽特愛撿便宜,小J 也盡得真傳,母女倆好不容易有了共同交集,打電話一問,健身房遠在特拉爬路,「蝦米? 要運動還得開大老遠的車去哟? 費油錢,耗能源,有違J 媽良知,算了,道不同不相為謀!」對方連來好幾通電話邀請,硬是取悅不了女子小人2。
緊接著,蛤蟆墩週報頭版報導有位專業教練協助弱勢族群,規劃一對一的健身訓練,J 媽大喜,立即電郵卡位,妙的是健身房居然設在山頂區,符合 J 媽散步健身、順便監督小姐受訓的初衷。教練 David Robson 有心幫助弱肢,針對局部肌肉循序漸進,用啞鈴或重量機逐步加強肌力。各項運動或計次或計時,一套做三回,中間必有空檔休息,緩衝痠痛的肌肉,再插科打渾3、講講笑話。
看她笑逐顏開的神情--可不得了,一個月下來,小J 的啞鈴從1.5公斤進步到2.5,還主動要求買一對啞鈴在家鍛練! 拳擊課教練為她準備漂亮的紅拳套,揮起 cross punch/jab/upper cut/hook 居然像模像樣,可憐教練常常故意餵招,挨她花拳繡腿,讓小J 樂不可支,巴望著每週上健身房打人過癮。
小J 練身才起步,不知哪來的好運氣,社區記者特來健身房採訪,拿她當模特兒,照片登上報,教練大為滿意,說她上相,表框鑲在牆上供人景仰,下回還要找她當健身房代言人,這下可好,人怕出名豬怕肥,成了健身房的招牌,非去不可,看來J媽可以安心散步去了。
小J 怎麼看的呢?
I have wanted to find a fitness club to join ever since I stopped my paper delivery in September last year, my Mum has also tried to get me to join one of the normal fitness programmes on offer in the public. But I just don't feel right joining a normal gym, and felt that I needed something a bit different. Just in October this year, Mum saw an article in the paper about a new private gym targeted for people like myself and we started going there. Though motivation is still a key challenge for me when it comes to excercising, I am very grateful to have a personal trainer who especially designs a training programme to cater for each individual's needs.
My trainer has just informed me that I was featured in a local newspaper again with him and you are welcome to see it on FitFutures Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/#!/FitFuturesForLife. Last time that I was featured on a local newspaper was about my paper run, now it's a fitness training programme, what will the future hold?
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1. 風馳電騁(ㄔㄥˇ): 形容像刮風和閃電那樣快的速度,同「風馳電掣ㄔㄜˋ」
2. 孔子一句「唯女子與小人為難養也,近之則不遜,遠之則怨」《論語.陽貨》傳了兩千年沒事,近代頗遭批鬥。
3. 插科打渾: 詼諧幽默的對白, to make impromptu comic gestures and remarks; to make gags; to buffoon.
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